BEGO Funny Status Messages

   If I was a judge in the Olympic Trampoline events, I'd give the Silver to the chick with the biggest boobs, Gold if she doesn't wear a bra.

   Shout out to all the 90's baby's, with no babies!

   YOLO backwards is OLOY, "Only Losers Obey Yolo"

   Sunglasses: Allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life.

   True Freedom: Taking a dump with the door open.

   On facebook* Hot person status: Just ate lunch. *86 likes 30 comments* .. Average persons status: *today is my birthday! *mom likes this

   People nowadays take pictures, not for memories, but to post them on facebook and get comments.

   If our olympic athletes really eat McDonalds… We're screwed.

   Sick of seeing photos of everyone's food? Post a few of your meals on their walls...post digestion.

   You have "Swag"? I bet that looks great on your McDonald's application.

   Call my girlfriend.. Call my girlfrien.. Call oy girly.. Call of gurty.. Call of duty.

   I wish that some people would realize that talking isn't necessary.

   That annoying moment when a package says "easy open" and you need scissors, a knife, a gun, and a life saber to open it...

   Somebody needs to start a restaurant called "Chick-Fil-Atheist" that's only open on Sunday.

   Sunglasses were invented so you can stare at me while you're with your girlfriend.

   Some people dream of success, others are awake & work hard at it.

   Best Way to deal with High School Bullies: Grow up to be smarter, richer and better looking than them and then add them on Facebook.

   The people who wear Bluetooth headsets always look like the people least likely to ever receive phone calls.

   sometimes when I'm bored I lay on my kitchen floor and pretend I'm a crumb..

   There's no better feeling than proving someone wrong.