Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 4454 of 6446

   messageicon When something bad happens you have 3 choices, You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 13:28 by Master Weeg Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just spent some time manscaping. Planning to donate to 'Locks for Love'.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 13:23 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon We should be able to Text 911, you know, just in case you're hiding from a serial killer and can't talk.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 13:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Should I wear my top up... or down ... or up... or possibly... tucked in?
←Rate | 10-12-2011 13:07 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I cut a chunk out of my thumb at work today.HALF-DAY, BOOYAH!
←Rate | 10-12-2011 12:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon " IDK Google it " When your kid asks you a question you know nothing about.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 12:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon $1200 for a redbone hound pup....fn puppy pimps!!!
←Rate | 10-12-2011 12:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2 THINGS THAT DON'T MIX - Me and my ex
←Rate | 10-12-2011 12:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lets Be Honest, slow internet, is worse than bad sex.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 12:40 by NO BODY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't want to hear you complain that you can't afford basic cable when you play $20 a week on the Lotto.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 12:38 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon This laundry detergent says I get 20oz free, but the cashier says I still have to buy the whole bottle. :(
←Rate | 10-12-2011 11:54 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because your neighbors aren't on vacation doesn't mean you still can't go through their mail.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 11:47 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trying to explain to my blackberry with the death of Mr. Jobs that usually we take a MOMENT of silence not DAYS!!
←Rate | 10-12-2011 10:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it begins with Twi, Bieb, or Kardash, I'm not interested.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 10:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I get re-pissed about an old situation whenever I have a flashback about it.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 10:02 by NO BODY Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 07:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 07:36 by Viper Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every morning I long to hold you, I need you, I want you, I love your warmth... your smell, your taste... Ohhh coffee I love you. Good Morning!
←Rate | 10-12-2011 07:33 by Viper Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
←Rate | 10-12-2011 07:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon what's the difference between 'fat chance' and 'slim chance'?
←Rate | 10-12-2011 07:28 Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left