santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   That moment when you spend 20 minutes making all the christmas lights work, then putting them nicely along the ceiling, then stand back to look at the beautiful setup up.. Plug them in... And BAM, they don't work....\

   Coz that Pope started using Twitter, Santa just created his Facebook account. Guess what, all the kids are getting clothes and Bible for Christmas :)

   After putting up xmas lights last night I'm wondering why no one hasn't opened up a business that untangles xmas lights...

   This year I'm giving my girl the best Christmas gift ever. Anybody got any tips on how to wrap your b@lls?

   so many kids give carrots to the reindeer on Christmas & as they're flying you never hear of any droppings hitting a car or a roof.....id like to see that insurance claim

   Storage Wars is fake? What will you tell me next, that Taco Bell meat isn't real or that Santa isn't real?

   Santa saw your Facebook pictures. …You're getting clothes and a Bible for Christmas

   Dear Coworkers, all I want for Christmas is you... to not talk to me before 9am.

   It's beginning to cost a lot like Christmas!

   CLAUStrophobia = The Fear of Santa Claus !

   It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! People are definitely getting in the holiday spirit, CRABBY, GRABBY and RUDE!

   Times are short and Money is hard... Here's Your Effin Christmas Card!!!

   Dear Santa, Do not eat any cookies from Colorado and Washington this year.. May cause drowsiness.

   It's not officially the holiday season until I've ignored a Salvation Army Santa.

   Dear Santa, I plead the fifth! No wait... I drank it!!

   Sorry, parents of ugly children on Facebook, those Christmas sweaters didn't help; just made them uglier in a festive way.

   I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, The FedEx guy, and the Walmart greeter... C'MON MOM, KNOCK IT OFF! ツ

   Dear Santa, is it too late to be good?

   Last year, I got socks for Christmas. The year before, I got a couple of sacks. And before that, a sax. For pity's sake, Santa, you blind old jerk, it's sex. S-E-X.

   Unfortunately, there was a lot more camel toe than mistletoe at the office Christmas party last night.