Funny Status Messages
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That was a fun way to kill 10 minutes. See you dumbass sheep losers with no creativity whatsoever tomorrow. 
ABC News An unthinkable breach of national security
CBS News An unthinkable breach of national security
MSNBC An unthinkable breach of national security
CNN An unthinkable breach of national security
Fox We've all texted the wrong person befor
OF COURSE HE TWEETS AT 3 A.M.
THAT'S 11 A.M. HERE IN MOSCOW, WHERE HE GETS HIS ORDERS FROM.
Good dog.
THE "BUT HER EMAILS" CROWD IS REAAAL QUIET RIGHT NOW.
You're all like one big f'ing SNL skit LOL
People everywhere are now referring to Pete Hegseth as “WhiskeyLeaks” and we're kinda mad that we didn’t think of it first.
BREAKING NEWS
JD and Usha Vance trip to Greenland canceled after US officials couldn't find a single resident who wanted to greet them BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
BREAKING NEWS
RFK admits to being on Jeffrey Epstein's jet at least twice.
45 year-old M*G* man looking for 13-year-old M*G* boy for fun and discreet visits behind the local waterpark this summer.
If not for our insanely stupid administration, the l*fticles wouldn't ever have anything to make fun of.
Wait..... that came out wrong.
The States used to be a respected, powerful nation. Now, you're being laughed at and mocked by the entire world. And the majority of your country. Comedians, talkshow hosts, everyone lol. You're all clown shoes. Weak, stupid and embarrassing.
Nothing owns Libs harder than day-drunk-texting top secret war plans to reporters.
“Cry harder” posts coming in 3
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I'm funny I tell you!
Bl@cks were given Bl@ck History Month because Father's Day doesn't exist for them.
You know someone has made no valid points when they end their responses with LMAOOOO and LOLZZZZZ. It's a beautiful thing to know we've bested the loser.
Keep dreaming, 3rd world left*e. Mad because Trump deported you back to Assholevania?
Good morning haters!
When a woman laughs during an argument, please know that the psycho part of her brain has been activated. Abort mission.
If not for the laughing emoji and asd hominem attacks the l*fticles wouldn't ever have anything to say.
"Nice try. That isn't what Trump said. He never said he didn’t know about it. He said "No" when asked if he was briefed on it. That's two completely different things."
Dumbest comment I've seen here yet LMAOOOOO
He not give flying f*ck about your military.
Which make our job so much easier in end.
Россия навсегда 