Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 439 of 6383
My buddy gave me a Golden Girls DVD for my birthday. I told him, "Thank you for being a friend."
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03-23-2020 10:06
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Yall scared of the virus, i'm scared of the vaccine!
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03-23-2020 09:50
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I'm having a quarintine party this weekend. None of you are invited
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03-23-2020 06:22
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So by always grabbing extra Chipotle napkins along with saving a huge variety of different non-perishable condiments from restaurants over the years make me a prepper?
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03-23-2020 00:03
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I’m proud that my kids can see our current First Lady naked when they google her. So beautiful!
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03-22-2020 23:25
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If prayers doesn't work, then it's all Obama's fault. Fact!
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03-22-2020 21:59
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I loving this calling viruses by races. As long as you leave the whites out of it.
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03-22-2020 17:31
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To the below: Are you saying you want the media to pay everyone's mortgage?
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03-22-2020 15:14
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General Public: We can't pay rent or the mortgage. Media: LOOK!! The orange haired guy said CHINESE VIRUS again!!
How long are we supposed to do this social distancing thing? My wife keeps trying to get back into the house.
Rand Paul has been tested positive for Coronavirus. Yes!!!! Thank you lord! Thank you Jesus Christ!
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03-22-2020 14:01
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I'm glad the earth is solving our over-population problem. Keep it up, mother earth.
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03-22-2020 12:23
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Don't care about nudes, send me a video of you washing your hands
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03-22-2020 08:07
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tested positive for missing my homies
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03-22-2020 08:05
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Have we tried unplugging 2020 waiting 30 seconds and then plugging it back in?
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03-22-2020 08:04
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Before Coronavirus, I used to cough to cover a fart. Now I fart to cover a cough.
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03-22-2020 08:04
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Due to the Quarantine, I’ll only be telling inside jokes.
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03-22-2020 08:04
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I'm glad we have a Space Force rather than a pandemic response team.
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03-22-2020 07:48
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Boo hoo! I'm so mad that I can't go out and mindlessly hang around some dive bar watching some crummy cover band butcher my 5 favorite songs from some 80' hair metal hacks!
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03-22-2020 06:51
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I think Facebook should change What's on your mind? To What's on your mind, besides the Coronavirus?
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03-22-2020 01:37
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