Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4384 of 6443

Banana peel, coffee grains, pizza crust, beer bottles, empty tins, paper plates, sales papers. Don't mind me I'm just talking trash.
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10-26-2011 00:04
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I like to pretend that the girls who do the "duck face" in pics can beatbox real good

Being lonely, I don't sit at reserved tables. I like the furniture to be friendly and outgoing.
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10-25-2011 22:21 by Aaron
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for a good time call....Jenny....867-5309
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10-25-2011 22:17
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woamn goes to clothing store. clerk asks if she nedds help. woman says "im looknig for a tie that makes my husbands blue eyes stand out" clerk says "make it tight enough & any eyes stand out"
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10-25-2011 21:27 by Eddy
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If you want to find a needle in a haystack, burn the haystack.
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10-25-2011 21:11 by Aaron
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How much you wanna bet I can throw a football over them mountains?

Terrell Owens held a work out for NFL teams today,was televised by ESPN &the NFL Network.problem was no NFL teams actually showed.Reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite when Uncle Rico is videotaping himself playing football.How much you w

it's true, I too was born a poor, black child.
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10-25-2011 20:34
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Its strange to think that decades from now, people might be dressing like US for Halloween, like they do for flappers, or hippies.
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10-25-2011 20:10 by g0re
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If two girls wear the same costume for Halloween, they are officially enemies for the day.
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10-25-2011 20:09 by g0re
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It looks like your supermarket is dressing up as Christmas for Halloween.
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10-25-2011 19:45 by g0re
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Hi I'm Muammar Gaddafi, and this is "Escape Tunnel"....Welcome to Jackass!
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10-25-2011 19:36 by @Alastor
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At one point in their life, 90% of all women will have intelligent DNA, unfortunately most will spit it out!
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10-25-2011 19:08
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Chris Brown & I have a totally opposite understanding of the term "I'de hit that"

Whoa!!!!! The McRib is back in McDonald's....next thing you know they may go back to putting real meat in the hamburgers!!!!!
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10-25-2011 18:59 by Dan
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I go on Facebook cause of habit, not for something to do...

Next time the bully asks you for your lunch money, tell him you left it on his mother's dresser.
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10-25-2011 18:41
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Saying, "Comment and like the pic please!" on Facebook is no different than saying, "Please make my self- esteem go up"
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10-25-2011 18:23 by g0re
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Had dinner with a girl tonight! Ok so maybe she was on the tv, but we were eating at the same time so I'm counting it.
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10-25-2011 17:16 by SEAN
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