Funny Status Messages

   Ironically "Chumbawamba" totally got knocked down and never got up again

   Remember when double entry was an accounting term?

   Has anyone tried lighting a fall scented candle to fix 2020 yet?

   There are two kinds of people. The ones that pack six days before a trip, and the ones that wake up day-of and realize they need to do a load of laundry. And they marry each other.

   Me: Damn. Another gray hair. *plucks it* Old man standing next to me: Ouch!

   The Washington Redskins are dropping the name "Redskins" for cultural correctness, which is fantastic. But, to prevent other global embarrassments, I would drop the "Washington " as well

   I pretty much doubt hillbillies have big back accounts. Big moonshine bottles, yes, but not big bank accounts.

   I use to think that wearing masks was so ridiculous and lame. Now that I've seen him wear one, I love masks and I can get enough of them.

   I know how can cure the Coronavirus. Stop socializing! And you could give me the Nobel Peace Prize later thank you.

   The Ieft has big vocabularies; the right has big bank accounts. Guess which one pays the bills at the end of the month?

   Mexico is reconsidering building the wall for the sole purpose of keeping out New Yorkers.

   The problem with this country is that too many people say they want Justice when they really want Revenge.

   The weather is 88 and hazy .. kind of like Joe Biden

   No one ever boycotted my beans! - George W. Büsh

   Ask Alexa "Do (state a color or race) lives matter?" and listen to the different responses...

   People who go out to to socialize can be compared to zombies, who are also not thinking.

   When a kid says " Daddy, I want mommy", that's the kid version of "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."

   I support Goya: Black Beans Matter

   Dating is like going to garage sales where everything looks great from a distance but up close you realize it's just a bunch of crap you don't need. 21 minutes

   I really don't understand this so called pandemic. We have been social distancing ever since we signed up for Facebook.