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I Love octopus. Tried to cook one the other night and took me 5 hours. The sucker kept turning off the gas.
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03-29-2020 10:24
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IS: We are reluctantly laying off all suicide bombers , due to insufficient crowd sizes.
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03-29-2020 10:19
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Many parents are about to discover that the teacher was not the problem.
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03-29-2020 10:17
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Gotta say that the class of 2020 outdid themselves with Senior Skip Day this year.
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03-29-2020 10:16
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If Martial Law is declared, do we stack the bodies of the home invaders and burglars at the curb on Trash Day? Asking for a friend.
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03-29-2020 09:55
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It’s so hard to explain puns to an atheist. They take everything literally
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03-29-2020 09:52
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Does anyone know if we should take showers or just keep washing our hands?
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03-29-2020 08:03
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I put four beers in each room of the house, now I;m going to get cleaned up and go bar hopping
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03-29-2020 07:58
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Beware everyone!! There's emails going around saying if you eat tinned pork, it will help avoid Covid. Please ignore as it's only Spam
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03-29-2020 07:49
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I just auditioned for a play about the toilet paper shortage because they said there might be a roll for me.
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03-29-2020 07:40
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Are Liquor Stores considered essential businesses and therefore required to remain open? Asking for a friend.
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03-28-2020 22:38
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Darn Facebook is so packed with traffic I had to walk over from Instagram as someone parked in Myspace.
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03-28-2020 21:48
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Studies have confirmed that women can significantly increase imMunity to COVID by ingesting semen.
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03-28-2020 16:06
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Finland has closed its borders. Now no one can cross the Finnish line
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03-28-2020 15:54 by
Rickster
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Have I ever been in a stable relationship? I’m not into livestock, you sick twist. What’s wrong with you? Why did your mind even go there?
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03-28-2020 15:54 by
Rickster
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Remember on 'The Wire' when the drug dealers in Hamsterdam were like, "Got that pandemic!"? HBO should do a 'Where are they Now?' episode...
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03-28-2020 13:52 by
HaydenWalker
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Tiger King is like watching the UPN Network version of The Lion King, produced by Jerry Springer.
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03-28-2020 13:49
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We Just bought 12 pounds of cheese. Won’t need toilet paper now.
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03-28-2020 12:37
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Tried oscillating today! Not a fan!
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03-28-2020 12:23 by
Truman
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I never thought that giving up going to work for Lent would be so easy.
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03-28-2020 10:50
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