Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 432 of 6383
Looks like I’m going to have to buy toilet paper. That brush next to the toilet hurts.
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03-30-2020 15:53 by DJJackson
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The Irony of the old saying, "I wouldn't touch you with a 6 foot pole".
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03-30-2020 13:14
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Keeping anything under 100,000 deaths is always a good job.
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03-30-2020 11:12
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Hey Jude. I ran out of advice, so I'm just going to go nah nah nah nah for the next nine minutes.
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03-30-2020 10:42
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I tried bringing sexy back but the lady at Walmart assured me I didn't get it there.
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03-30-2020 10:18
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Chances of me doing anything at work today are about hahahahahahahahahahaha%.
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03-30-2020 10:15
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I judge people based on their email address.
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03-30-2020 10:12
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I eat those silica gel packets because consumer electronics are not the boss of me.
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03-30-2020 10:12
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Day 17 of isolation: still have food and toilet paper. Also, notice a small flock of very large birds are circling overhead, watching over me in a protective manner.
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03-30-2020 07:06
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Go ahead and hide out there now Waldo. Jerk.
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03-29-2020 23:02 by EDog
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Keep your eyes on the road and don't get worried when you see someone naked on a front porch. It's probably just a healthcare working coming home after their shift.
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03-29-2020 22:42
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Who would have thought.. the unemployed have become subject matter experts on staying home
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03-29-2020 21:36
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I bet people's pets are just loving this quarantine
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03-29-2020 16:36 by Curly
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I can't believe we all have to suffer, just because some idiot really wanted to eat under-cooked bat soup.
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03-29-2020 15:24
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The buttons on my jeans have started Social Distancing from each other.
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03-29-2020 13:09 by raman911
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I am so bored, but not ckean house and do laundry bored.
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03-29-2020 12:27 by Curly
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The worst homeschooling class has to be Sex Ed.
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03-29-2020 12:05
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If soap kills the virus maybe these tide pod eating idiots had a point
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03-29-2020 11:37
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Your pets are going to light your sh*t on fire in rage when you start going out again post quarantine, fyi.
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03-29-2020 10:28
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HOUSEWIVES: Save money on expensive gadgets by changing your name to Alexa and obeying random instructions from everyone in your household.
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03-29-2020 10:25
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