Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4313 of 6397
Just shot three vampires and a zombie. You're welcome.
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10-31-2011 21:44
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Go ahead, call the cops, lady. I got ten witnesses that'll say your baby kicked me first.
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10-31-2011 21:33
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Nipples: Nature's thermometer.
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10-31-2011 21:29
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90 percent of the pumpkins in America end up as Jack-o-Lantern's.
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10-31-2011 20:54
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If couples who are in love are called "love birds", then couples who always argue should be called "angry birds"
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10-31-2011 20:53
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Melissa Etheridge is single, with four kids by two different chicks. Sounds like someone is ready for the NBA.
Here lies Eddie Drake, he stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
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10-31-2011 20:42 by BEGO
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I dressed up as MySpace for Halloween. Hey why is everyone ignoring me?
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10-31-2011 20:40 by BEGO
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so far I've handed out 23 caramel covered onions on a stick to trick or treaters... life is fun
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10-31-2011 20:40
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Best part of Halloween is the day after…clearance candy in the stores and drunken slutty pictures on Facebook.
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10-31-2011 20:39 by BEGO
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Happy Halloween. You don't need a costume, your face is scary enough as is.
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10-31-2011 20:39 by BEGO
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If you want to visit a real graveyard this Halloween just log back onto MYSPACE.
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10-31-2011 20:12
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I don't know understand what the big deal is about those Halloween movies. A plot that centers around the actor that played Austin Powers , Shrek and Wayne Cambpell going around killing people doesn't sound scary to me.
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10-31-2011 20:09
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Kim Kardashian requests her privacy during this time. Just her, an E! camera crew & 30 black dudes dragging their sacks across her face.
I feel like I should apologize to my shower drain.
ok but i'm out of cialis so you have to wear the boba fett mask
it weird that one of my nuts is bigger than the other two?
The power went out, so I'm taking my shower by LED flashlight, just like they did in the olden days.
I think I weigh, I don't know...74317.965555 pats of butter.
The Mystery Machine gang were the first Ghost Hunters to debunk ghosts..
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10-31-2011 19:31
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