Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4191 of 6452

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.
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12-15-2011 18:51
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I wonder what I'm thinking right now...hummm?

Im 98% black the other 2% is milk.
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12-15-2011 18:33 by L
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I never even saw what we were running from...... She finally stop to catch her breath, so I tried to asked her what we was running from?......She yelled and took off running again, so I did too.
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12-15-2011 17:51 by jitney
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"im gonna have to steal this" my number one "compliment"
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12-15-2011 17:33 by L
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Im thinking of opening a specialty store that caters to people with A.D.D. I will call it "The Shiny Squirrel". Or I might just throw rocks at this tree.
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12-15-2011 16:42 by jeff
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Shutting the door to force your pet into spending time with you.
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12-15-2011 16:30 by fadolo
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The first rule of ADHD club..WOAH, POPTART! KITTY CAT!.. I want Mexican food... How's everyone doing today?
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12-15-2011 16:24 by Bricktop
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I guess I'm still butt-hurt over that bad call back in '83 during a game of dodgeball. That fricken Jenny Harden was out by a mile...

"I'll get you, gadget. Next time." --Dr. Claw, window shopping at the sharper image
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12-15-2011 15:30 by flinnie
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I see London. I see France. I see the Human Resources Office because I made an inappropriate observation.
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12-15-2011 15:27 by flinnie
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Alfalfa was the Depression era Justin Bieber.
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12-15-2011 15:26 by flinnie
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Dear Santa, I was framed!
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12-15-2011 15:13
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Christmas was best when I used to believe in Santa Claus... I wanna be 19 again.
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12-15-2011 15:13
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No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a sword.
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12-15-2011 15:12
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"Welcome To The Jingle" ~ Bells
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12-15-2011 15:11
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If you're really going to make me choose sides I guess I'll go with fries and a coke.
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12-15-2011 15:07
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D.N.A actually stands for National Dyslexic Association
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12-15-2011 14:36
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If you were walking through the Mall today and saw me sitting in Santa's lap , it isn't what you think .
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12-15-2011 14:09 by BigToe
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All those years of phone sex has caught up with my grandfather. He has hearing AIDS