Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 18:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what I'm thinking right now...hummm?
←Rate | 12-15-2011 18:36 by @kraziedavid909 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im 98% black the other 2% is milk.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 18:33 by L Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never even saw what we were running from...... She finally stop to catch her breath, so I tried to asked her what we was running from?......She yelled and took off running again, so I did too.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 17:51 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon "im gonna have to steal this" my number one "compliment"
←Rate | 12-15-2011 17:33 by L Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im thinking of opening a specialty store that caters to people with A.D.D. I will call it "The Shiny Squirrel". Or I might just throw rocks at this tree.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 16:42 by jeff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shutting the door to force your pet into spending time with you.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 16:30 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first rule of ADHD club..WOAH, POPTART! KITTY CAT!.. I want Mexican food... How's everyone doing today?
←Rate | 12-15-2011 16:24 by Bricktop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess I'm still butt-hurt over that bad call back in '83 during a game of dodgeball. That fricken Jenny Harden was out by a mile...
←Rate | 12-15-2011 15:44 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I'll get you, gadget. Next time." --Dr. Claw, window shopping at the sharper image
←Rate | 12-15-2011 15:30 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see London. I see France. I see the Human Resources Office because I made an inappropriate observation.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 15:27 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alfalfa was the Depression era Justin Bieber.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 15:26 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa, I was framed!
←Rate | 12-15-2011 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas was best when I used to believe in Santa Claus... I wanna be 19 again.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a sword.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 15:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Welcome To The Jingle" ~ Bells
←Rate | 12-15-2011 15:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're really going to make me choose sides I guess I'll go with fries and a coke.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 15:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon D.N.A actually stands for National Dyslexic Association
←Rate | 12-15-2011 14:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you were walking through the Mall today and saw me sitting in Santa's lap , it isn't what you think .
←Rate | 12-15-2011 14:09 by BigToe Comments (0)  


   messageicon All those years of phone sex has caught up with my grandfather. He has hearing AIDS
←Rate | 12-15-2011 13:57 by Michael Frattallone Comments (0)  




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