BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is like calling me a doctor, because I own Band-aids.

   If there was an accepted currency worldwide, it would be Beer.

   Vending machines are so homophobic. I'm sorry my dollar is not straight enough for you.

   Boys, if you don't look like Calvin Klein models, don't expect us to look like Victoria's Secret Angels.

   BEST ADVICE: Stick to One-Night-Stands, The biggest cause of marriage is dating.

   I remember in 1st grade, if you were the line leader you were the s$it!

   Being nice to the people you don't like isn't called 2 faced, its called growing up.

   For all of those that think alcohol is a problem... according to Chemistry: Alcohol is a solution. Thanks science!

   Starbucks really knows how to put the "fee" in coffee.

   Be yourself" is the worst advice you can give to some people.

   If your roommate never walked in on you naked, you're not naked near enough.

   Will you write on your girlfriend's Facebook wall telling her how much you love each her?" ~Said Nobody, ever.

   Oh, you brought a laptop with you to Starbucks? You must be so very important.

   Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you "Yeah.. So is a grenade.?

   I love people who gossip behind my back... that's just where they belong, behind ME!

   Single life might be lonely, but at least I'm always with my favorite person

   I wish there was a rewind button in life.

   Sometimes I wish I could be one of my friends for 1 day, to see how it is to hang out with me..

   In 1969, nearly 600 million people tuned in to watch Neil Armstrong walk on the moon. Now we have 'The Bachelorette'.

   Pandora: *skip* *skip* *skip* *skip* *skip* *skip* runs out of skips.. *changes station*