trump Funny Status Messages

   "On a scale of 9 to 10, how delicious are Trump's steaks?" -The one and only question asked to potential VP candidates by Trump's vetting team.

   Let me sum up the next few months: 1) Trump says and/or does something stupid. 2) Taylor Swift breaks up. 3) Enjoy your summer!

   Trump In 1776: Women love me because they'll be hung by a rope in the town square if they declare otherwise.

   If you travel to Mexico Donald Trump will require you to help pay for the wall.

   Enjoy your last Independence Day before it's renamed Trump Day.

   just Who is Donald Trump's campaign manager now anyway???

   GOP Convention Speakers: 1) Donald Trump's kids. 2) Donald Trump's wife. 3) Donald Trump's grandma. 4) Donald Trump's barber.

   If Trump and Hillary are stranded on a boat in the middle of the ocean, who survives? America. America survives.

   Just wondering if Trump's "Make America Great Again" caps will be even more patriotic this Fourth of July.

   Hillary Clinton has been on more private jets than Donald Trump ..... and hasn't paid for a single one of them ...

   Trump will predict your weight. But if he gets it wrong you win a stuffed animal. No, one of the small ones the big ones are for show.

   The way things are going, the only corporate sponsor of the Republican convention will be Trump Steaks.

   America and Britain are having a competition on who can f*ck themselves up the most. Britain is in the lead, but America has a Trump card.

   If the White House really wants to close Guantanamo Bay, why not just appoint Donald Trump its new CEO?

   Donald Trump "has accepted a relationship with Christ". No word yet on if he plans on leaving him for a younger, prettier messiah.

   The United Kingdom just asked Donald Trump's father for a small loan.

   Eric Cartman was Donald Trump before Donald Trump became Donald Trump.

   Sarah Palin still a Trump loyalist?

   Nothing says America needs a third viable political party like having Donald Trump & Hillary Clinton as presidential candidates for the Republican and Democratic Parties respectively.

   "Scots love me and I love those haggis smelling weirdos who wear those little girlie skirts!" -Trump, eventually, during his Scotland trip.