santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   I dont know if yall know but umm ...its Christmas time in Hollis Queens

   i don't get it...tonight theres millions of breaking & entering cases but nobody calls the police because they get bought off with presents

   I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I'll pop open the red and drink that.

   Friendly Christmas Reminder: If you're telling a joke to a group of family members and friends, and no one laughs, there is NO need to REPEAT the joke a second time!

   twas the night before Christmas & all through the trailer park, not a creature was stirring, not even a dog's bark (redneck edition)

   I told Santa what I wanted for Christmas, now I'm on the naughty list

   My ornaments are starting to droop. Yeah, time to ask Santa for a new bra.

   Heading into Wal-mart on Christmas Eve. If I don't make it out alive, I just want to say it has been great knowing you all.

   Bucket list #33: Get a mouse dressed as a pirate to sit on your shoulder while you hand out Christmas gifts,, Also he should pretend to steer you holding a potato-chip.

   It would probably make more Sense if they did our taxes 2 mths before christmas that way we can actually afford christmas.

   My Christmas tree isn't the only thing that's getting lit this time of year.

   Well, time to get dressed and go Christmas shopping. What time does Walgreens close?

   Not setting my expectation high this Xmas, since I shall not be kissed under a mistletoe I shall accept to be kissed by a camel-toe.

   Always Remember, If CHRISTMAS Isn't Found In Ur Heart, You Won't Find It Under A Tree..

   Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. it's only fair since you're getting the credit for the gifts, that you should start paying for them also.

   After spending most of Sunday wrapping presents I've decided next year everyone gets square present

   WTH!!! It's 2 days until Christmas and none of stores have their Valentine's Day stuff displayed.

   I saved a lot of money this Christmas by switching to single....

   I snuck in my neighbor's house last night and ate up all their Christmas cookies. This secret Santa thing isn't so bad after all.

   christmas shopping online is confusing the kids..they see their toys being delivered one at a time. If the UPS guy would dress like Santa..problem solved.