seddy90 Funny Status Messages

   Never chase them, quickly replace them. Mistakes? Nahh, I don't retrace them. I just move on and mentally erase them.

   Notice Liars have 2 or 3 stories like a big house!!!!

   Dear slut, Has your right leg ever met your left leg?

   S.I.N.G.L.E = Stay Intoxicated Nightly Get Laid Everyday

   Read it slow: LIFEISNOWHERE. What did you read? LIFE IS NO WHERE or LIFE IS NOW HERE? Life is as you read it.

   That awkward moment when someone you don't like sends you a friend request, then you decline. Then they send another one.

    Ugly people: Don't play hard to get, you're already hard to want.

   Student: can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: I don't know can you? Student: B!TCH I WILL PISS ON THIS FLOOR!! 

   When a quiz is NOT multiple choice... You know you're screwed.

   Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!!

   Parents call it "talking back" we call it explaining.

   Dear Nosey Friend, I know you're reading my inbox while You're "playing" with my phone.

   Dear Dora, How do you get that t-shirt to fit over your head? Sincerely, Thats physically impossiple

   "Why didn't you answer my phone call?" Oh, sorry I was dancing to the ringtone

   Do headphones just tie themselves in knots while we're not looking?

   Your In ur bed, it's 6 AM,u close ur eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school, it's 1:30,u close your eyes for 5 minutes,it"s 1:31

   Hi welcome to Hollister, Would you like a flashlight?

   If I caught a Grenade for you I Will No Longer Able to Hold On To You Forever!!!

   What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!

   Why do men get circumcised? Because women will GRAB anything with 20% off!! :))