jitney Funny Status Messages

   When an ignorant person feels that he won an argument he loses. When he loses an argument, he actually wins knowledge.

   Harrison Ford was lucky. Ten yards left and he's out of bounds. That's a one shot penalty, and he'd had to retake his emergency landing.

   "Stupid Left Shark takes one misstep during a Super Bowl and now he is famous " - Right Shark(-_-)

   I realized Freedom of speech has an expiration date... -Not valid when your in a position of influence, not valid when its being use as a weapon, and definitely not valid when I've got to listen to my wife!

   Not sure if I am getting older or if kids today are just getting retarded?....

   Why are there no mirrors in the self checkout?.....Slow people, take your time to get that jokke....

   If a baby comes out with an Afro, is that considered Natural child birth?

   Walked into Walmart and met a woman who had one callus on her toe. Does that make her a unicorn? Imagine that You can see unicorns at Walmart

   Should Dave Ramsey's website take credit cards?.... I wonder...

   I sometimes wonder.... Is the word tofu, short for " tried-to-fool ya?"

   Whenever I go to a stripclub I piont at the most slutttiest girl and say, "Hey I know you.... I use to go to church with you!"

   How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

   If I have to text you first every time we talk, then I'm just goign to drop and block you!

   it me or this presidency has experienced more Virus out break since AIDS? Remember the Swine Flu, bird Flu, Housing Bubble Flu, Bank bail out Flu, and my favorite was when Congress Flew

   Can some tell my wife......Crying is blackmailing Yes, of the simplest and most straightforward form.

   I feel a jokeke for Chris Brown and Ray Rice Rice coming up. hmmm...maybe after I finish this Brown Rice, I'll knock it out!

   I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!

   I rather read the software license agreement for my computer than some peoples Facebook status drama on my newfeeds

   I wonder if Joan Rivers is an organ donor or a mannequin donor? ....

   An ancient tampon was found in a cave in the Yucatan... Archaeologists are not sure which period it's from. The Doctor said, he saw something like that during Joans Rivers operation!