geez Funny Status Messages

   I hate when my foot falls asleep... it usually means it's going to be up all night!

   I'm not drunk... I'm just tired from drinking all day!

   World Cup Finals... Its Heineken vs. Sangria. screw it, lets get drunk!

   Spain or Germany??? --Spermany!

   wow just found out Jimmy Dean died! this is gotta be the wurst day ever...

   hates when his hand falls asleep, it usually means it's going to be up all night

   What a tortured soul... He never really figured out what Willis was talking about....

   Mondays! Pro: Start of a fresh new week! Con: It's still Monday!

   NBA Wives is a better name than "The Ex-wives and ex-girlfriends of ex-Miami Heat players that weren't really that good except for maybe Shaq...

   Earth Day - Keeping Earth cleaning than Uranus...

   Eyjafjallajokull is more like a baby typing on a computer than a volcano!

   I'm not that big on Volcanic Ash... I'm more of a Volcanic boob man!

   Tiger Woods is doing so well at the Master's, you might think he was cheating!

   *holding my shirt* excuse miss, would you consider this boyfriend material?!?!

   you know that feeling when you pick your nose and it all comes out in one long string... thats how I feel right now!

   two cannibals are eating a clown...one says, does this taste funny to you???

   what do you tell a woman who has two black eyes... nothing you've already told her twice!

   I know Floyd Mayweather likes to dodge but this is ridiculous!

   I know Gilbert Arenas likes to shoot, but this is ridiculous!

   whats everybody worried about with Gilbert Arenas...its not like he can shoot anymore!