YODA Funny Status Messages

   nothing makes you a hypocrite like becoming a parent...

   Significant others are like linoleum floors... Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.

   I love tan lines... it's like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)

   I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright

   I want to be a Disney Princess... Mostly so I would have random animals help me with my housework

   I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drinking enthusiast!

   theres no "half-singing" in the shower... you are either a wimp or a Rock Star....

   no amount of cash is petty

   I remember my first crush... It was orange

   Many things can be preserved in alcohol, dignity is not one of them...

   I'm not mooing you.. I'm turning the other cheek

   to you it's a 6 pack... to me.... it's a support group

   men really don't want their minds blown...

   At least my computer goes down on me

   I don't have issues... I have an entire subcription... jest sayin

   Girls just wanna have funds

   Ya know... statisically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't Happy...

   if you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut

   breaking up is hard to do... unless of course you're mad and there's a vase nearby....

   I'd have a longer attention span if things weren't so shiny