Fazzy Funny Status Messages

   On a happier note... Cuomo is going down faster than Kamala Harris at the company Christmas party.

   If you think that a mustache is what made Mr. Potato Head gender specific, you've never met my cousin Vincenza.

   A cross pollinator is a worker bee who asked the queen out on a date, but was told she only liked him as a friend.

   Upside: I had a dream that NASCAR teamed up with NASA and came up with a flying car. Downside: It only made left turns.

   If you enter into a relationship and discover she has 5 kids and a Yorkshire Terrier, give it up. There's no way you'll ever take precedence over the Yorkie.😛

   Some would call me a "Foodie", but that definition is too refined. I'm more along the lines of a glutton.

   The Weeknd should change his name to Monday Morning 'cause that's how bad he s_cks.

   SB halftime show: Forget honesty, forget creativity, forget originality. In these days and times, the only thing these "fans" want is formulaic pablum served on a steamy silver platter of ad nauseam.

   Super Bowl parties are great! (If you aren't into football.) I'm into football, so no thanks.

   Hey! Who remembers seeing men on tv ripping phone books in half? Hey! Who remembers phone books? Hey! Who remembers men?

   Kamala has had more politicians in her than the White House, the Capitol and the Lincoln Memorial combined.

   The left will blame Donald T for all of Joe B's failures because it's easier than admitting they elected the wrong guy.

   Maybe now that we’ve kept Joe busy writing his name for a week, we should move onto shapes and colors.

   Waiter: Would you like a Chef's Salad, Caesar Salad or Cobb Salad salad with your ribeye? Me: None. I don't eat the food my food eats.

   Dear Advertisers – white heterosexuals still use fabric softener, buy insurance and walk their dogs.

   The Biden crowd has Helen Keller Syndrome. Facts fall on deaf ears, dumb reasoning and blind eyes.

   The Biden crowd has Helen Keller Syndrome. Facts fall on dear ears, blind eyes, and dumb reasoning.

   We need to stop looking at our country in terms of right and left, yet instead focus on right and wrong.

   I celebrated 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

   Facebook: Where content takes a back seat to cleavage.