Dopey420 Funny Status Messages

   I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

   57. Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed

   I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each time a woman got pregnant, someone left town.

   According to a new survey, 40% of adults in Mexico say they would move to the United States if they got a chance. The number would have been higher, but the other 60% already live here.

   They should make a more honest name for 16 and Pregnant. Stupid Little Girls sounds good to me.

   why do all the new smartphones have porn on them? Who in their right mind is out in public thinking, "ya know i'd really like to jerk off right now"?

   There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

   I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and I. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a b!tch.

   Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.