Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   Thank you Pringles® for being the only chip company that doesn't sell air.

   "Watch what the idiots are doing and do the opposite." ~ Robert Kiyosaki

   Sugar Babies --- College girls hooking up with older men to pay their tuition.

   50% of marriages end in divorce and the other 50% end by a "relationship status" on facebook.

   You take the Kennedy assassination + That Clinton and Lewinsky thing + A pretty boss lady with small, slutty tendencies and BAM...You got a show on ABC called Scandal.

   If you're on facebook saying you're at the gym, then you're not doing anything gym related.

   I refuse to lower my standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

   Make sure your worst enemy is not living between your own two ears.

   Facebook (FB) + Instagram (I) = FBI............."They" are watching you.

   *Achievement Unlocked* 15G - Reading This Status All The Way

   Up to this year, there's a reality T.V. show about everything except reality.

   The internet does not make people ignorant, it just makes their ignorance visible to everyone else.

   You never heard or seen a pothead come home and beat his wife have you?

   Reality T.V. Show Idea: Put The Kardashians, Honey Boo Boo, and the Jersey Shore cast on a island. Have them fight it out until the last one stands and call it "Who Gives A Fu¢k"

   That nervous moment when we're at a Fiscal Cliff and Obama's campaign slogan is "Forward"

   It's Thanksgiving. Don't forget to set your scale forward 45 lbs. ahead.

   If the head of the CIA (Petraeus) can't keep a secret such as cheating on his wife, then they're screwed.

   If you decide to dress up as Lance Armstrong for this Halloween, just remember to give all the candy back at the end of the night.

   My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, and they're like "It wasn't that hard"

   Dear Taliban, When you shoot a kid in the head for wanting an education and she doesn't die, how can you be sure that God is on your side?