Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The older the Facebook post, the creepier your "like" becomes.

   I just ate a yogurt that expired two weeks ago ! ..................... Now I'm waiting ??

   I could eat Gandhi's sandals right now I'm so effin hungry.

   wondering if the US Government gets the irony of trying to pass laws that limits their own citizens access on the internet whilst at the same time criticizing the governments of China & Iran for doing the same thing.

   When your clean you use SOAP, when your dirty you use SOPA.......

   How wonderful the world is, when your in it !

   If facebook gets shutdown will Tom send me my password from Myspace back?

   We were so close, I never noticed I had been deleted as a friend.

   I have a question for all government officials and anyone who supports SOPA/PIPA. Do you really want to piss off ALL those hackers all at once?

   More people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.

   Women on fb. They "Poke" you a hundred times a day. Then they find Mr. Perfect for the millionth time and then disappear...until the big breakup a week later...then the Pokes start up again. DELETE!

   You can only put the wheels on a wagon so many times, then it's time for a new wagon!

   Maintaining a Facebook page for your dog is an easy way to let all your friends know you're crazy.

   Maybe the government clamping down on the internet isn't such a bad thing. The only thing I ever got off of Craigslist was chlamydia!

   I just heard someone described as a "YouTube star" which I don't think is actually a thing.

   Before you could say that the dog was the best friend of man ... But that was before Twitter !

   Really now... a show called: "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."

   If you are ever invited to anyone's Emotional Amusement Park, always aviod their Roller Coaster of Stupid Mistakes and ask them to meet you at the Carousel of Common Sense.

   preparing for sunshine but expecting rain.

   perfume and frustration...smells like you got stood up.