Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I never knew Will Ferrell had so much talent....good job on the tight rope!

   atleast there wasn't a wardrobe malfunction."

   1million bucks from the new fantasy game doesn't go far. gas alone gonna take half when you buy any car.

   that snow I see on the field? No, I guess it's just Madonna's skin cells.

   Gonna rename my ipod to "Madonna is Lip" so when I hook it up to my computer it will say "Madonna is Lip Syncing

   Dear Audi, your commercial sucked more than the vampires in it!

   Its like a million Nicki Minaj snuck in at the SuperBowl show.....

   Madonna got a bunch of So-U-think-you-can dance rejected contortionist, and circus animals, and that monkey on a Rope......Someone Shoot the monkey. Wait What da???.........

   If I'm ever in an accident while driving and updating my status and you're the first person to arrive on the scene, grab my phone and press "Post."

   Dog Commercials during the superbowl are the funniest. I'm going to sign my dog for acting classes. At least they be more greatful than those hamsters I sent, who drove of in my KIA.

   "just like a prayer" i'm hopeing madonna dosen't have a "wardrobe malfunction"....nobody wants to see that madge!!!!

   Somewhat, I was waiting to see if suddenly M&M's Bananas would show up on stage!

   this is what has happened when the have Giants won the Superbowl....1987 Black Monday Stock Market Crash,1991 Gulf War part 1,2008 Economy Crashes....2012

   Shouldn't those polar bears have diabetes by now???? #tooMuchCoke

   wut the hell..no more jokes? my fb fanz gon b pissed

   I use to be a tight end... Now I'm a wide reciever!

   harry potter is such a fake movie, like really a ginger with two friends

   Politicians should wear uniforms like NASCAR so we can see who their corperate sponsors are.

   I used to be a looker when I was younger. Or a peeping Tom as the girls used to call me

   Teacher: If I saw a man beating a dog and stopped him, what virtue will I be showing? Student: Brotherly love!