Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Nothing says I can't pull out like a mini van.

   I just took a crap in a public bathroom so quickly & silently that a ninja dropped through the ceiling & high fived me.

   Text REDCROSS to 90999 to help the tornado victims. (This is a status we all should put up today to help these poor people)

   I dont even know who this "Snookie" person is?

   I love it when I read a post and I think ive read the page but its just some idiot reposting a post from a few pages back.

   I think A.D.D. must have been called P.A.K. when I was young because the only thing I can remember teachers yelling was "Pay Attention Kid!"

   Can we stop all this about this Snookie. I doubt many of us give a baboon's bollok about it or her.

   ʎdɐɹǝɥʇ uoısɹǝʌuı ʎɯ ɯoɹɟ sʇɔǝɟɟǝ ǝpıs buıɹǝɟɟns ɯɐ ı ʞuıɥʇ ı

   Don't worry if you think you're crazy, even the tall oak trees were once nuts.

   Dummies talking about dummies being dummies. Try funny.

   The snookie and mayans thing is getting old now look at the previous jokes before doing a duplicate

   i guess its time to get another dishwasher.........there is just so much drama in dating now

   I spent most of my money on beer and women, the rest I just wasted.

   found the difference between being smart and wise: Smart is knowing what to say and wise is knowing whether or not to say it.

   Snooki's due date is December 21st. looks like the Mayans knew what they were talking about.

   I just hope Tyler Perry names his 1st son 'Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry, Jr.'

   What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and anal sex makes your hole weak...

   Funny...the post below this one..is a lift of the post five below that. I give up.

   heres an idea, only post orginal stuff that you thought of. if you post something you think is "so funny" from another website..weve heard it already.

   this plave sucks now. I miss the glory days in 2008-2010 when only the chosen few knew about it..good bye all