sean Funny Status Messages

   Some relatives are like seeing Santa; you only care to see them once a year.

   Earlier today I got a call from a charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.I told them to kiss my a$$. Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving..lol

   Reasons why Alcohol should be served at work...its an incentive to show up

   I often view the Thanksgiving table as a roulette table, something about potato salad and macaroni salad made by people that don't like me makes me think I would be safer in Vegas betting the house and car

   Dear makers of Cialis, when I reach middle age and find myslef needing your product, contrary to the advice you offer about calling a doctor if you have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, I can assure you that I will be calling a film crew instead

   Words to live by: If your outflow is greater than your income, then your up-keeps guna be your downfall

   Dear washing machine, I am all for fighting breast cancer, in-fact I have offered to be a buddy for the buddy check, but turning my socks pink… Come on!

   my 2nd wind seems to be fanning the fire of the candle I am burning at both ends

   "Don't buy condoms at BP gas stations. They may burst and result in a leak..."

   Don't buy condoms at BP gas stations, they may burst and result in a leak...