Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 3788 of 6389
if I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was right, I could get it changed into pennies & swim around in it like Scrooge McDuck
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03-17-2012 01:16 by Eddy
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By the end of the night...what can you say?......Happy Paint Satricks Day...Ossifer!
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03-16-2012 23:12
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Hired a midget to dress in green and sit on my keg, aint America great?
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03-16-2012 22:57
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went to the track today..I never knew only mexicans can sweep up losing tickets...hmmmmm
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03-16-2012 22:54
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cant decide whether midgets look at St Patricks day as a "payday" or a "dammit! I have to hide in my little house" kinda day.
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03-16-2012 22:12
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After all the upsets today. Cathy from the mailroom is gonna win a $hitload of money off her "Bracket thingy" this year..
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03-16-2012 22:05
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Think maybe its time to diet, I just had to cut my hula hoop off
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03-16-2012 22:03
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The best thing about Facebook is that someone can disappear as quickly as they appeared!
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03-16-2012 22:00 by BEGO
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used to hate red lights before text messaging was invented.
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03-16-2012 21:59 by BEGO
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doc says i'm low on iron. yet, i'm feeling tired beyond my wildest dream... kind of ironic, no?
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03-16-2012 21:51
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it's officially ok to fkk in the car cause it's March Madness, it's a holiday
anyone else think Lucky Charms is just Cheerios with marshmallows?
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03-16-2012 21:36
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facebook, where a bathroom shot of a duckface is considered 'hot'
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03-16-2012 21:34
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ahhh..st. patricks day, when you can eat lucky charms dowsed in beer and everyone thinks..great idea!
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03-16-2012 21:32
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spring is just around the corner, the bums are migrating back up north.
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03-16-2012 21:29
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you know you're getting old when you're nuts are now referred to as "yams"
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03-16-2012 21:26
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Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status...
Hmmm...THAT wasn't EXACTLY what I had in mind when I'd imagined George Clooney in handcuffs! (LOL!) ♥
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03-16-2012 20:35 by Shellie
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The legend goes that St. Danica Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland.....must be hard to put all the tiny seat belts on all the snakes.
I'm waiting for Joseph Kony to make a YouTube video advocating against jerking off in public.