Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon if I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was right, I could get it changed into pennies & swim around in it like Scrooge McDuck
←Rate | 03-17-2012 01:16 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon By the end of the night...what can you say?......Happy Paint Satricks Day...Ossifer!
←Rate | 03-16-2012 23:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hired a midget to dress in green and sit on my keg, aint America great?
←Rate | 03-16-2012 22:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon went to the track today..I never knew only mexicans can sweep up losing tickets...hmmmmm
←Rate | 03-16-2012 22:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon cant decide whether midgets look at St Patricks day as a "payday" or a "dammit! I have to hide in my little house" kinda day.
←Rate | 03-16-2012 22:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon After all the upsets today. Cathy from the mailroom is gonna win a $hitload of money off her "Bracket thingy" this year..
←Rate | 03-16-2012 22:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Think maybe its time to diet, I just had to cut my hula hoop off
←Rate | 03-16-2012 22:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about Facebook is that someone can disappear as quickly as they appeared!
←Rate | 03-16-2012 22:00 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon used to hate red lights before text messaging was invented.
←Rate | 03-16-2012 21:59 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon doc says i'm low on iron. yet, i'm feeling tired beyond my wildest dream... kind of ironic, no?
←Rate | 03-16-2012 21:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it's officially ok to fkk in the car cause it's March Madness, it's a holiday
←Rate | 03-16-2012 21:42 by milsfinest Comments (0)  


   messageicon anyone else think Lucky Charms is just Cheerios with marshmallows?
←Rate | 03-16-2012 21:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon facebook, where a bathroom shot of a duckface is considered 'hot'
←Rate | 03-16-2012 21:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ahhh..st. patricks day, when you can eat lucky charms dowsed in beer and everyone thinks..great idea!
←Rate | 03-16-2012 21:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon spring is just around the corner, the bums are migrating back up north.
←Rate | 03-16-2012 21:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know you're getting old when you're nuts are now referred to as "yams"
←Rate | 03-16-2012 21:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, it's easy to tell I'm married. It's Friday night and I'm at home updating my facebook status...
←Rate | 03-16-2012 21:08 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hmmm...THAT wasn't EXACTLY what I had in mind when I'd imagined George Clooney in handcuffs! (LOL!) ♥
←Rate | 03-16-2012 20:35 by Shellie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The legend goes that St. Danica Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland.....must be hard to put all the tiny seat belts on all the snakes.
←Rate | 03-16-2012 17:14 by @gnarleycharley Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm waiting for Joseph Kony to make a YouTube video advocating against jerking off in public.
←Rate | 03-16-2012 17:13 by @HiYourJon Comments (0)  




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