BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your minde. Feelings and emotions.

   watches Sunday football with you all day... Wife that girl.

   It's kinda funny how in 2010 and 2011 people were freaking out about 2012. Now it's 2 months from December and no one gives a crap

   Sexy is when a woman is hot enough to flaunt it but chooses not to

   You're a 90s kid if… you wore the light up shoes! Those were badass.

   Unless life also hands you water and sugar, that lemonade is gonna damn suck.

   When I die, I want My body to be thrown out of a plane wearing a Superman costume

   Seems like it's going to be “die trying” rather than “get rich” kind of life.

   Dont let your daughter wear makeup at 10, date at 12, wear provocative clothing at 14 and then wonder why she got pregnant at damn 16!!

   When I was kid, werewolves and vampires were scary. Now everyone wants to damn date them.

   Adele is pregnant. Can't wait for her next album where she writes 17 angry tracks about diaper changing and crying babies

   When I'm at a restaurant I like to ask the waiter, “What's your most frequently photographed entree?”

   [ ] Democratic party [ ] Republican party [x] Pizza party

   FACT: Friendships with coworkers are based on a mutual hatred for your jobs

   She is so ugly, how does she have a boyfriend? Maybe she has an amazing personality and her boyfriend isnt a judgemental cu$t like you..

   You know you're lazy when you get excited about cancelled plans

   When I'm in the shower I let the water run down my arms so it looks like I'm shooting water out of my fingertips

   My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like my toaster

   Never forget to love your family.. because when everyone is in and out of your life, family is always there

   It takes everything I have to lie to your face and tell you I never loved you.