Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   16 and pregnant? What about 18 and graduated ? 22 and successful?

   $2.75 Trojans or $19.99 Huggies? You make the decision.

   its time to call clowns what they really are- smiling murderers

   I just got an email from Facebook that I have 7 friends with birthdays this month. I didn't even know that I had 7 friends, or Facebook.

   Never bring a knife to a gunfight. But if you bring one to a tickle fight, you will TOTALLY win.

   took you to dinner,a movie,then for drinks,get back to your house then tell me you have your period (・_・)ノ”(ノ_<)

   I don't hate anyone enough to want to marry them.

   Um, hello Police? I'd like to report a robbery. Somebody stole one of my stats. A stat It's like, a sentence you put on a website. Hello?

   I met my perfect match on ePharmacy.com

   The only thing more stressful than a blind date is meeting a new drug dealer for the first time

   Whether being sincere or romantic, never, EVER, call your wife the 8th wonder of the world when she is PMSing!!

   Tonight , I will be the Designated Drunk

   RIP Richard Dawson Family Feud guy

   ┐('.'┐) ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ (┌'.')┌ cus' this is thriller, thriller night.

   Remember Ladies, blojobs are flowers for men.

   quit criticizing the girls that take slutty pics and put them on Facebook! I like looking at them you homo!

   if someone tells you their buns are moldy and you're not in the kitchen....RUUUN"!!

   Never hate your enemies. It affects your judgment.

   There must be a lot of people dumping F/B due to how lame some of these post have become.

   Being free is no guarantee of happiness, but if you're unhappy, at least it will be on your own terms rather than someone else's.