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it still called a gas pedal on an electric car?
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09-21-2020 17:08 by
Gabe
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Orwell called them Thought Police. Zuckerberg calls them Fact Checkers.
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09-21-2020 07:33
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I can't be the only one who’s first instinct when a fly lands on their computer screen is to try to scare it with the cursor.
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09-20-2020 20:55 by
@svaldez187
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Maybe the Pandemic Shutdown of 2020 was organized by Keyser Soze
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09-19-2020 22:32 by
Lonnie
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Ruth Bader Ginsburg actually died years ago. She just got the memo today.
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09-18-2020 19:59
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The wind kept blowing an old Burger King wrapper at my feet for over half a block I know a sign from God when I see one
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09-18-2020 10:22
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Here in the South, we don’t consider a cookout successful unless there’s an ambulance involved.
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09-18-2020 10:19
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Until zoom life I had no idea how many people dig in their ear.
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09-18-2020 10:19
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Does anyone know if we have any wiggle room when it comes to the 6ft distances rule?
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09-18-2020 03:04 by
Lonnie
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That time hackers stole my nudes and returned them.
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09-17-2020 15:51
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One of my daughters wants to marry the mailman, but I won’t letter!
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09-17-2020 15:49
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I told someone to question everything. He replied to me "even your conspiracy theories?" After that, I feel so confused all the time.
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09-17-2020 13:28
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He drinks a whiskey drink He drinks a vodka drink He drinks a taco drink He drinks a pizza drink – me with a broken jaw
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09-17-2020 09:12
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I’ve eaten jellyfish, pidgeon, and pig ear. I even sucked marrow thru a straw directly from a bone. But you won’t catch me dead with mayo on my burger because I’m not gross
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09-17-2020 08:48
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This alphabet soup that I spilled on the floor is still more coherent than most Pitbull lyrics.
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09-17-2020 08:47
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My boss just farted. I asked him if he was trying to get the condom out. He’s mad now.
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09-17-2020 08:47
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I just spilled my protein shake all over myself and all I’m saying is a donut would never do this to me.
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09-17-2020 07:48
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Some people shouldn’t be informed when this quarantine is over.
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09-17-2020 07:48
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For Halloween I'm going to go as a normal person with no mask since that seems to scare the sh*t out of everyone🎃 🤔💪😜🇨🇦🇺🇸
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09-16-2020 19:53
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All those tree huggers should've let the loggers cut down all the forests!
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09-16-2020 15:40
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