santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Sarah Palin's new Christmas book is her attempt at valuing the sanctity Christmas so she can sell books and make money just like baby Jesus.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 08:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jesus and santa are not real. You can live up to a 1,000 year and still never get to meet Jesus.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 00:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would be so much more ''festive" if UPS and FEDEX guys dressed as Santa while delivering packages during the holiday season
←Rate | 12-14-2013 22:58 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon Vodka works better than Mistletoe at Christmas Parties. That's because with Vodka someone is getting kissed whether they want it or not.
←Rate | 12-14-2013 22:09 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always try to see my relatives with love and affection during the Holidays. When I can't I try to see if there is more Bourbon available.
←Rate | 12-14-2013 22:06 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good 'cause...Santa works for the NSA.
←Rate | 12-14-2013 20:23 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got a copy of Santa's naughty list and it is almost identical to my frields list.
←Rate | 12-14-2013 11:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Megyn Kelly said "Jesus and Santa Claus are white" well if they weren't they live in Detroit and East St. Louis!
←Rate | 12-14-2013 05:03 by Lil-David Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got this whole Christmas gifting thing on lock!! I bought my mom a fridge for Xmas a few years ago and still to this day every time she opens it....her face lights up
←Rate | 12-13-2013 12:52 by JEBI Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is Friday, December 13th. I can't tell you how relieved I am that Christmas isn't on Friday the 13th this year.
←Rate | 12-13-2013 09:20 by mcfazzerino Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm at my wife's company Christmas party and there is like zero pus sy here. I hate Christmas.
←Rate | 12-13-2013 01:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kanye West agreed to play Santa Claus under the condition that children had to ask him what he wanted for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-13-2013 00:37 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm white, but I'm not 'buy a Christmas gift for the Mailman' white.
←Rate | 12-12-2013 23:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Finally I'm not being harassed by my family or coworkers for listening to Christmas Music. It was rough back in July.
←Rate | 12-12-2013 20:00 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wrap all my Christmas gifts in bubble wrap.....it's like giving two gifts in one!
←Rate | 12-12-2013 15:28 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always say "happy holidays" because I'm not sure if people celebrate anxiety or depression.
←Rate | 12-11-2013 05:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Holiday Tip #37: Eat asparagus around the holidays. If you're anything like me, the green combined with the red in the toilet lends itself to a wonderful bathroom holiday ambiance
←Rate | 12-09-2013 23:12 by Goober Peas Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't get "drunk" during the holidays I get "festive".
←Rate | 12-09-2013 14:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon With the holidays, I'd rather check my facebook than face my checkbook...
←Rate | 12-09-2013 05:52 by YODA Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think they put "The Island of Misfit Toys" in the Rudolph Christmas special so poor kids know why they get crappy presents from Santa at Christmas.
←Rate | 12-08-2013 21:06 by Jiffy Pop Comments (0)  




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