Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 333 of 6383
In the next verse of the song, the mother of the 5 Little Monkeys receives a massive doctor’s bill.
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11-02-2020 10:01
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The vaccine shot was promised to be ready today. Where can I go to get the shot?
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11-02-2020 09:45
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The election is rigged...unless I win
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11-02-2020 09:27
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What a great Halloween. Thanks for giving us the night off Covid!
Due to all that's happened so far this year, I have no choice but to deduct 2 stars from my original TripAdvisor review of Earth
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11-01-2020 13:23
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With the pandemic just curious if anyone’s house got toilet papered or sprayed with Lysol last night.
Have to say this is the first time just about everyone's wearing a mask on Halloween.
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10-31-2020 12:33
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What's the difference if someone with mental illness come at you with a knife vs someone without mental illness comes at you with a knife?
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10-31-2020 06:44
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My favourite Celine Dion song is the one where it's muted all the way through.
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10-30-2020 15:35
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They said no texting while driving but they never said anything about glassblowing
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10-30-2020 14:52
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Since hockey has been cancelled, nobody has seen the Zamboni driver. But I’m sure he will resurface eventually .
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10-30-2020 14:07
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I used my husband’s deodorant, so if you need me to explain how to throw a football I can do that for you.
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10-30-2020 13:14
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Hands up if you’ve given yourself a bloody nose by swooping down a little too eagerly on the buffet and smashing into the sneeze guard. So, just me? Okay.
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10-30-2020 13:11
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*at boss’s funeral, kneeling and whispering at coffin* Who’s “thinking outside the box” now, Gary? Not you that’s for sure
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10-30-2020 13:10
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My Halloween costume this year is a red cape and a witches broom – I’m gonna be little red riding wood.
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10-30-2020 13:09
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Trick-or-treating has been canceled, so this Halloween I will be giving out advice.
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10-30-2020 13:09
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This year for Halloween I’m putting my kids in a giant bowl on the front step with a sign that says Please Take One.
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10-30-2020 13:08
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Just think. If all parents were pro-abortion, it's likely we wouldn't be here to argue over it.
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10-30-2020 09:27
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Yellow cars have the lowest crash rate, according a different pole
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10-29-2020 20:28
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i was looking at the bigbustycoons site... Those guys have some big bus companies
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10-29-2020 11:06 by kip
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