Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 331 of 6383
Biden didn't beat Trump. Trump beat Trump by being a complete clown. He ruined all the good that he accomplished by opening his big flaptrap one too many times.
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11-07-2020 08:47
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I believe in doing things in a definitive manner. That being said, in the unlikely event I decide to do any looting, I'm going to loot a lute.
Pinocchio wins award for being more credible than the pollsters.
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11-07-2020 05:28
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If anyone is going to be alone for Thanksgiving this year please let me know. I need to borrow some chairs.
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11-06-2020 17:10
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you lazy folks will be happy.. free healthcare, free college, what more can a person want
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11-06-2020 14:23
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With all this stress eating, I may hit 270 before either of the candidates.
Seriously… The Chick-fil-A drive-through workers could’ve counted these votes by now… and they’d give you a “my pleasure!“ while doing it. 😐
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11-06-2020 10:51 by ScottyGay
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If we are just going to hand the election to the person that gets more votes, then democracy is truly broken...sad.
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11-06-2020 09:54 by ProudRed
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The news is reporting we had 100,000 new coronavirus cases in our country. Not sure what you're talking about "magically disappearing"
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11-06-2020 09:02
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One day, I would love to visit the state of JOEgia.
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11-06-2020 09:00
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Feels like the whole country is on Maury waiting to find out who’s the father.
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11-06-2020 08:22
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Remember how people saying the pandemic would be over the day after the election? Well, you haven't seen much about in the news these past few days, have you?
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11-06-2020 08:19
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My neighbor is louder than a spinning dryer drum full of loose change on a groaning container ship being ripped apart by rogue waves.
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11-06-2020 08:19
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Parenting fact: The kid who says “wasn’t me” before you even ask the question is definitely the guilty one
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11-06-2020 08:14
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States are going blue like a pad in a period commercial
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11-05-2020 19:08 by Obeah
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Coming to theaters on January 20, 2021: "Hey! Where's All My Free Stuff?" Tickets: $70. Popcorn: $55. Coke or Sprite: $40.
It looks like the same people who hate science are also hating math now.
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11-05-2020 16:24
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Coronavirus be like: "Fine, you don't want to believe in me? I'll teach you a lesson by removing your current president. That'll learn ya!"
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11-05-2020 14:24
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If I'm winning, stop the count. If I'm losing, Keep counting until I win. Makes sense, don't ya think?
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11-05-2020 10:26
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If your election lasts more than 4 days you should consult a physician.
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11-05-2020 05:32
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