bego Funny Status Messages

   The true test of any loving relationship is having two phones and only one functioning charger.

   It's easier to fall asleep in class than in my bed at home.

   Everyone has that 1 favorite piece of clothing that you wear all the time and refuse to throw away.

   The 4 Stages of Going Out Drinking: 1. Why do I do this to myself 2. This isn't so bad 3. WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN 4. Why do I do this to myself

   At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.

   I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don't like and assume they deserved it.

   All flights to Colorado have been cancelled. The sky is just too foggy.

   Today everyone will update about who they chose for president, then tomorrow it will be back to what they chose for lunch.

   Women... the more attention they get, the more options they seek.

   When somebody sends me a "k" text, I assume they forgot the rest of "fuc_ you", so I make sure to correct them.

   Facebook: someone added a photo of you.. Me: fu?k

   Girls, it's not pretty being easy.

   B-E-F-O-R-E not b4. We speak English not fuc?ing bingo.

   Bi?ch I didn't text you to exercise my fingers, I want a damn reply

   Age 11: “I whip my hair back & forth!” Age 27: “I drive my kids back & forth!” Age 72: “I rock my chair back & forth!”

   I feel confident that Laim Neeson would be there for me if I listed him as my emergency contact.

   My bank account is more like a countdown to my homelessness.

   Saying “Hey, I just met you, and this is Crazy..” is how I used to introduce my ex to new people.

   A relationship where you can act like complete idiots together is the sweetest thing ever.

   Texts that piss me off: 1. Yeah 2. Oh 3. Yup 4. Lol 5. Haha 6. K 7. Nope 8. Chillin 9. Naw