Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   She lost her virginity in a high-stakes game of Just the Tip.

   Told my wife today she looked sexy with black fingernails Now she thinks I slammed the car door on them on purpose !!!!!

   You need a woman whose last name doesn't end in .jpg, .wmv, or .mpg

   On the bright side, my coffee will never get cold in hell.

   One time at a job interview, I was asked: "What can you bring to this company?" I told them: "paper clips, lots of paper clips"

   I don't understand why people go to the gym all the time... everything there's so heavy.

   Dating was never my strong point because I've always been really good at getting laid.

   Lots of woman stay in relationships just to have somebody around to kill spiders and open jars.

   Sex is awesome as long as you don't accidenatlly catch or create anything.

   I feel bad for deaf people until I remember Justin Bierber.

   So orphans only have 9 commandments to deal with?

   I ALWAYS cry after sex because I don't know when I'm getting it again.

   I once won an argument with a woman…in this dream I had.

   Don't stare at me during sex! I don't know you!

   It's fun to confuse people by using common sense.

   Ladies: that blood curdling scream you just heard was my warrior cry and definitely had nothing to do with a bee chasing me.

   I don't take my wallet to work because I'm afraid someone will steal it while I'm sleeping.

   "I'll make delicious food and you will eat it and then I will give you grief for getting fat and how you will die alone" - Mom

   Facebook: Where you can be who you wish you were.

   Today I opened the door to the supply room and a gay Chinese guy jumped out and yelled "supplies!"