Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 320 of 6383
Remember when the current stupidest thing was the “Gotta Get Down on Friday” song? We didn’t know how good we had it.
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12-03-2020 15:20
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Toy story 2 has yet to explain how a stuffed horse kept pace with a commercial aircraft taking off on a runway
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12-03-2020 15:17
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Official quote of 2020 ... "YOU'RE ON MUTE !!"
All I want for Christmas is a stimulus check.
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12-02-2020 17:58
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Which wine pairs best with Spicy chicken Ramen ?
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12-02-2020 14:53
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wow, already December? Time flies when you've been drunk since March
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12-02-2020 10:52 by remy911
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Don't drink and wrap presents. Also, if anyone gets a remote control for Christmas, I'm going to need that back...
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12-02-2020 08:28 by Gabe
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Mrs. Claus: *opens door* you’ve been in here working on the naughty list all day Santa Claus: *fumbling to close his internet browser* I need PRIVACY please
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12-02-2020 08:13
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I vote for Chinx getting the vaccine last.
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12-02-2020 08:11
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This holiday season, make sure to confront your family about current issues like for example: how they choose to pronounce “pecans”.
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12-02-2020 08:08
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*feeling chest pain* probably need more pie
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12-02-2020 08:07
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I’ve watched enough Dexter to know if he’s lying about one thing he might also be lying about a lot of other things and secretly a serial killer.
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12-02-2020 08:03
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I decided to beat Black Friday and start my Christmas shopping early. *Runs Amazon van off the road
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12-02-2020 08:01
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Today I learned that you never bring a ‘I did the dishes’ to a ‘you never pick things up’ fight
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12-02-2020 08:00
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My Mom finally brought my Dad’s urn into the living room and placed it on the mantle. It caught everyone a little off guard including my Dad who was just sitting there watching Duck Dynasty.
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12-02-2020 08:00
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Me to my son: "Hey, look at this article. It says, 'Vaccines are ready to roll, thanks to beeyotch." My son: "That word is 'biotech', dad."
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12-02-2020 07:57 by Fazzy
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thank you all for donating to my gofundme to pay for my surgery; I have decided to buy 600 playstations with the money
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12-02-2020 07:51
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Christmas decorations should come with coupons for couples counseling.
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12-01-2020 15:47
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I used to think nudism was weird. Then I started doing my own laundry.
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12-01-2020 14:30
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Not to brag but I can still fit in the same parking spot I could last year.
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12-01-2020 14:29
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