LEMONPILLOW Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I Wish 2010 Brings You 12 Months of Happiness,52 Weeks of Fun,365 Days of Success,8760 Hours of Good Health, 52600 Minutes of Good Luck and 3153600 Seconds of Joy!
←Rate | 01-01-2010 03:38 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..New Year's Resolution: Drink More. Fall Down Less. She'll put that to the test tonight.
←Rate | 12-31-2009 11:32 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon May your troubles last as long as your New Years Resolutions!
←Rate | 12-30-2009 19:52 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late and see the New Years in. Middle age is when you're forced to.
←Rate | 12-30-2009 16:37 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon HDTV: where the channels are still crap..but a much clearer and colorful crap.
←Rate | 12-30-2009 14:49 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon The National Eczema Association are currently fundraising. They've just launched a scratch card.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 17:16 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that food has replaced sex,I can't even get into my own pants.
←Rate | 12-28-2009 15:30 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is too complicated in the morning.
←Rate | 12-28-2009 10:11 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
←Rate | 12-27-2009 20:22 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
←Rate | 12-27-2009 18:12 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a weak man all day. Wearing a backpack & a turtleneck is lke being strangled by a weak man as a dwarf tries to pull you down.
←Rate | 12-15-2009 07:53 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I woke up this morning and my friend said "Did you sleep good?" I said "No. I made a few mistakes."
←Rate | 12-15-2009 03:51 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember when the candleshop caught on fire. Everyone just stood around singing "Happy Birthday".
←Rate | 12-14-2009 18:40 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bills travel at twice the speed through the post than cheques.
←Rate | 12-14-2009 12:44 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have kleptomania. But when it get's bad,i take something for it.
←Rate | 12-14-2009 07:27 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon OFFICE MEMO: Mrs. Waite is doing all my work today. If you're in a rush for it,go to Helen Waite
←Rate | 12-14-2009 07:18 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a mute kid swears,does his mother wash his hands out with soap?
←Rate | 12-12-2009 13:59 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever decided that a one inch Mars bar should be called 'fun size' needs to seriously re-examine their standards for entertainment.
←Rate | 12-12-2009 04:50 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon n't it annoying when you accidentally drop something like a bread crumb into your keyboard and you have to get ighhghghghghhghghbhbhghgbhbhbggggggggggggh
←Rate | 12-12-2009 04:48 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
←Rate | 12-11-2009 18:00 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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