love Funny Status Messages

   I just want to say how much I love my wife's inner beauty, core values, and soul. JK, she's smoking hot and loves to fcuk!!

   Love is blind but marriage will open your eyes real quick.

   Love doesn't cost a thing but it can leave you bankrupt.

   Love is when two intelligent minds come together and become dumb.

   I love the way my abs look... in the morning... when I suck in my stomach... and turn to the side... while squinting... and the lights are turned off.

   OK, here's how it's going to be....Love me or leave me...understand? Hold on.....wait.....hey....where's everybody going??

   Happy New Year Facebook world! Keep the drama coming in 2015. Love it!!

   Maybe NYPD can use their new found love for back turning, the next time they see a dark skin person doing nothing wrong.

   My girlfriend said that I should use the term 'make love' instead of 'f*ck.' What the make love is she talking about?

   I'd love to come to your holiday party and stare at my phone all night.

   Dear nose-phobic as*holes who made fun of me when I was a kid. Over the years, I have made almost nine figures in royalties from my TV special - while YOU clowns were strapped to the hood of some dude's truck. Karma's a b*tch. Love, Rudolph

   All of these couples in the Hallmark Christmas movies that fall in love in a couple of days should have sequels on the Crime Network by Halloween when one of them murders the other one.

   Someone should tell Disney that a "true love's kiss" has WAAAAY more tongue.

   Why do you Americans have to involve race in everything? Leave it to the media to put ideas into your minds. The country/world will never know peace until we start referring to each other as human beings. One Love...

   Wife: You bought beer again!? Me: It followed me home. It needed love. I adopted it. [whispers to beer] Say hello to mommy.

   Don't forget to alienate people People love aliens

   If hearing “I love you” was enough, we’d all buy parrots and live happily ever after

   Who says you can't make someone love you? I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

   I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.

   I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.