Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Jokingly told this girl on our first date last night that I had a realy big D and she responded no problem i've had plenty of Big Ones before ! And now I'm sad ! :o( Fail

   China's "one-child per family" policy is being ended -- because not enough babies. Apparently it's so bad over there that some factories are actually hiring adults...

   what number do I text my ten votes to??

   Stop the world, I want to get off!

   Afroman was going to vote. But then he got high..

   Andy Reid said if Obama loses he can start next week against Dallas...

   exercising their right to vote is as close as most Americans get to exercising

   Go vote so I can hit your like button. I know you want me to hit your like button.

   It's just like American Idol... Vote early and vote often!!!

   VOTE FOR PEDRO

   Just spent 4 hours directing republicans to the correct voting location. Too easy lol

   Voted. Now, I watch and wait to see which loser wins.

   I wonder if the BOSS played "Born in the USA" yesterday just to get under Donald Trumps skin.

   I was gonna vote. But the I got high.

   I just made Romney noodles Obama self : - /

   My American friend says he's going to vote for the one who is willing to making the Pringles tubes biggers....as soon as he gets his hand out of one.

   If you're undecided...vote for the one that held the most babies...

   If you are undecided, vote for the one you would most likely buy a used car from.

   When I voted I wrote Abraham Lincoln in for president and Bill Clinton in for Vice President , Because 2 things this country has Too much of is vampires and ho'z !!

   It's finally here in a few hours America will finally find out the winner.............. between the pistons and the nuggets.