Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces. For example: I'm going to the liquor store and I'm afraid it may be closed.

   I'd rather drown going against the current than glide along a journey I don't believe in.

   Don't get me wrong, I love football just as much as the next guy but if she want's to do it during game time, football is the last thing on my mind.

   "Screw you and your iPhone 5" is what I'll be saying until I also get one.

   I like to high-five after sex because cuddling with strangers is weird.

   Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself ……………………………………………from negative $hit.

   If your religion is worth killing for, then do us all a favour and start with yourself.

   I enjoy romantic scrolls up and down your timeline.

   I got kicked out of the procrastinators club when I showed up for our first meeting.

   I live in a country where what doesn't kill you, makes off with your TV.

   Okay I'll stop. But I'm not going to collaborate or listen.

   I just tell ugly girls I have a paper bag fetish.

   People who like their jobs probably don't think oral sex is necessary either.

   How in the hell do Chinese people see when they're high?

   My wife said "Good morning " and that's how the fight started.

   When a woman says "the girls" I automatically assume she is talking about her boobs, not her actual friends.

   We're all sex addicts. Some of us just have better dealers.

   So broke right now, if a thief robbed me, he'd just be practicing.

   If you develop a rash from your new girlfriend then discontinue use immediately.

   Oh for god sake, just fall in love with me already so I can stop acting normal.