BEGO Funny Status Messages

   They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like say, Turkeypocolypse

   Sure you could complain there's another Twilight movie out right now. OR you could celebrate that there'll never be another.

   I'm not shy, I'm just really good at figuring out who's worth talking to

   Before Facebook we all had to lie about how happy we are in person.

   You know what's more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.

   Drunk people are the only honest ones left.

   So they legalize marijuana and then get rid of Twinkies? Is our government playing some kind of cruel joke on us?

   34 days until the world ends. LETS GOOO

   Best Relationship: Talk like bestfriends, play like children, argue like husband and wife, protect each other like brother and sister.

   You know a girl is serious when they say your name in a text.

   Don't shop when hungry. Don't date when horny. Don't update your status when drunk

   The side effects of the medicine I'm on include nausea, nausea, nausea, nausea, nausea, repeating things four times & difficulty adding.

   Restarting the whole song because you missed your favorite line.

   Are you cold?" No dumbass, I'm on fuc?ing vibrate mode.

   Me: I'm happy right now. Life: lol one sec

   Me with no money: I want everything... Me with money: what the f?ck do I buy

   Today's Joke! A Girl said …….. TRUST ME

   Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It's sufficient for me but how will you survive?

   There are only two kinds of people in this world: Doctors and Patients

   I really need a day in between Saturday and Sunday