snow OR flurries OR winter Funny Status Messages

   My biggest fear is getting a murder hornet stuck in my facemask as I shovel snow Saturday morning in May.

   Eskimos have over thirty words for ‘snow.’ That’s nothing, my wife has over 100 words for ‘F - off I’ve got a headache.’

   The supermarket's completely out of bread and milk. What is it going to snow?

   BREAKING: Snow White is down to 6 Dwarves.. Sneezy was just placed in quarantine.

   It's snowing! And I think I'll go outside now for 30 seconds to take a selfie so all my Facebook friends can see how much I love the snow.

   Any man that believes women are "the weaker sex," has never tried to reclaim his half of the blankets on a cold winter's night...

   1719: We can only pray the harvest will provide enough food to last the winter. Now: They had a sale on the 15 pound tubs of peanut butter at Costco, so I got 4.

   My husband keeps insisting we try 69, but I think we should keep the thermostat at 72 degrees this winter.

   My No 1 Resolution for 2020.. Only eat white snow.

   every summer people try to work on their "summer body" ...i've been working on my winter body for years

   Sorry if I end up in your dms this snow ❄🏂 got me sliding everywhere 🤭

   Drank enough whiskey to talk the husband into a Titanic reenactment. He's laying in the snow and I won't share the picnic table with him.

   people worry about their "summer body" but I've been working on my "winter weight" for years

   people talk about working on their "summer body" but I've been working on my winter body for years

   Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls

   Just got done knockin boots! Alright fine, I just used a broom to brush the snow off of my sandals...

   it true atheist children lie down and make snow corpses

   Some of you ladies have more inches of snow outside than your man has in his pants.

   Coldest winter weather in recorded history. In two short years the President has fixed global warming.

   am I watching The Weather Channel or Game of Thrones? it looks like winter is coming