snow OR flurries OR winter Funny Status Messages

   1719: We can only pray the harvest will provide enough food to last the winter. Now: They had a sale on the 15 pound tubs of peanut butter at Costco, so I got 4.

   My husband keeps insisting we try 69, but I think we should keep the thermostat at 72 degrees this winter.

   My No 1 Resolution for 2020.. Only eat white snow.

   every summer people try to work on their "summer body" ...i've been working on my winter body for years

   Sorry if I end up in your dms this snow ❄🏂 got me sliding everywhere 🤭

   Drank enough whiskey to talk the husband into a Titanic reenactment. He's laying in the snow and I won't share the picnic table with him.

   people worry about their "summer body" but I've been working on my "winter weight" for years

   people talk about working on their "summer body" but I've been working on my winter body for years

   Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls

   Just got done knockin boots! Alright fine, I just used a broom to brush the snow off of my sandals...

   it true atheist children lie down and make snow corpses

   Some of you ladies have more inches of snow outside than your man has in his pants.

   Coldest winter weather in recorded history. In two short years the President has fixed global warming.

   am I watching The Weather Channel or Game of Thrones? it looks like winter is coming

   Oh, the weather outside can bite me. My car won't start to spite me. I can't feel my freakin' toes. Winter blows, Winter blows, Winter blows.

   I know winter has started when my neighbor returns my rake, and borrows my snow shovel .

   An apple a day is bull crap.... Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.

   Its still winter because Mother Nature saw all our summer bodies and decided we weren't ready yet.

   Plan to change the air in your tires soon. Replace that winter air in your tires for best inflation during summer months. Most mechanics will do this for you for free on April 1st.

   Driving a gray car in the winter is putting a lot of faith in your fellow drivers on the road.