wolf Funny Status Messages

   If you want bright eyed and bushy tailed, go chase a squirrel!

   Derek Rowe Lease just signed... Movin away from the old meth and crack heads next to some nice occasional cocaine users..

   January: that special time of the year when a children's Christmas toys & their parents are BOTH broke..

   First the doctor gave me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me..

   See, you think I give a sh@t.. Wrong! In fact, while you talk,I'm thinking; How can I give less of a sh@t?that's why I look so interested..

   For this is a special time when family And friends get togetherfor fun. Wishing laughter and fun to cheer your days, In this festive season of holidays and always!!!

   Winter Weather: where a couple of inches will keep a woman in bed all day.

   Surviving this massive amount of "family time" by pretending they are mental patients and I'm their case manager.

   This weekends forecast: Mostly drunk, scatterd shots and a slight chance of falling down..

   I wonder if I tell my kids I'm calling Santa, will work after Christmas too!

   did you just say something?Or did your brain fart!

   Somthing always tells me, be camera ready when I go into Walmart..

   Alright, who left the bag of idiots open..

   Does this status make my wall look big..

   If I could take it all back right now, I wouldn't..i would have done more sh@t that people said that I shouldn't..

   I'm the one who screwed you all, but thanks for blaming the black guy.. George. Bush

   planning to do something today, but I haven't finished doing nothing from yesterday. Maybe I should be a politician..

   How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?

   Oh, nothing just admiring the shape of your skull..

   I throw my can up in the air sometimes saying AYO where out of beer YO..