tsparks Funny Status Messages

   I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice

   If you never jumped from one couch to the other to save yourself from the lava then you didn't have a childhood

   I study. I take the test. I pass it. I forget what I learned...

   Does your a** ever get jealous of the big amount of sh*t that comes out of your mouth??

   anyone gonna tell Americas Funniest Videos that theres youtube?

   I will do anything humanly possible to reach the remote without getting up

   The first 10 years of a girl's life is spent playing with barbies & the next 10 years are spent trying to look like one

   That one minute party you have when the teacher leaves the room

   Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.

   smaller the breasts, better the eye contact

   FACEBOOK" The second most popular word that starts with “F” and ends with “K”...

   When people ask for candy I'm eating, I give them the flavor I don't like.

   Was that lightning?" Nooo... they're taking pictures for google earth

   Whenever I wait behind a door to scare someone, they always take too long to come, so I leave disappointed.

   "I'm strong because I know what it's like to be weak."

   It's all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw

   i have learned that pleasing everyone is too hard, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake