thejoke.cafe Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The most used electrical appliance in the wife’s kitchen is the smoke alarm.
←Rate | 10-22-2016 11:14 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Waitress: ‘Do you have any questions about the menu?’ Me: ‘Yes. What kind of font is this?’
←Rate | 10-22-2016 11:09 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I work as a waiter. The pay isn’t great but I put food on the table.
←Rate | 10-22-2016 11:09 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife’s leaving me as I’m too controlling. It’s ok though, I’m not letting her.
←Rate | 10-17-2016 11:14 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook, making people who would’nt talk in the street wish each other Happy Birthday since 2004.
←Rate | 10-17-2016 11:14 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did my wife cross the road? To get back to the first shoe shop we went in three hours ago.
←Rate | 10-17-2016 11:14 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a woman says she’s wrong, is she still wrong?
←Rate | 10-17-2016 11:13 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Filled the tank up with petrol today. Now all the fish are dead.
←Rate | 10-17-2016 11:13 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I caught my wee brother sniffing my girlfriend’s knickers today. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’ve been wearing them all week.
←Rate | 10-17-2016 11:11 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I promised to have three beers, and be home by ten. I always get those two mixed up.
←Rate | 10-12-2016 13:37 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon America’s policy of shooting first and asking questions later has always been their downfall. I mean, just think how useful King Kong could have been on September the 11th.
←Rate | 10-12-2016 13:33 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got offered a great deal from Vodafone. A new Samsung phone and a free fire extinguisher.
←Rate | 10-11-2016 13:08 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most …
←Rate | 10-03-2016 14:16 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Kardashian held at gunpoint and made to put her clothes back on.
←Rate | 10-03-2016 14:15 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you rearrange the letters in the words Faith and Religion, you can make “Microwave.” No, don’t test it or question it, just believe me.
←Rate | 09-26-2016 12:02 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can’t walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.
←Rate | 09-23-2016 09:48 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m just a social drinker. Every time someone says, “I’ll have a drink”, I say, “Social I.”
←Rate | 09-20-2016 07:26 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants? Because E.T. eventually went home!
←Rate | 09-17-2016 10:00 by Thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend was complaining that I never buy her flowers. I didn’t even know she sold them.
←Rate | 09-15-2016 11:35 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women are natural born artists …….. From drawing eyebrows to drawing conclusions .
←Rate | 09-15-2016 11:35 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  




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