smeebert Funny Status Messages

   Internal Revenge Service

   Dennis rodman is the Jane Fonda of this generation

   Facebook. Why are you trying to lure me into people's problems?

   Always leaves my toenail clippers open, never know when an intruder might show up

   Don't forget to change your clocks tonight and to change your president on Tuesday

   I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute

   I'm going to stand outside... So if anyone asks, tell them I'm outstanding

   Son when I was young there was no wheels on suitcases, we carried them wherever we went.

   Just won the lotto but can't find my ticket

   I hope daylight savings time hasn't thrown you off your schedule of doing nothing

   Your so beautiful I can see you in 3D, yep thats my room number

   Russia is going to the moon, we can't even get to the next state with the price of gas

   Wow I guess David didn't beat Goliath, Tim Tebow did... what a game.

   hors d'oevures now there is a word that snooty people like to use regularly, most of us just say "snacks" and we survive the holidays just fine.

   Brees created quite the Hurricane in New Orleans tonight

   Alec Baldwin wouldn't have been booted from the plane today if he played the part of the pilot

   Dreamt I was forced to eat my way out of a ginger bread house

   “Thanksgiving dinner price highest in 20 years” PLAN: I'm putting together a list of Thanksgiving invites......stop in say hi, hug everyone, grab a plate and go to next house, cheapest Thanksgiving in 20 years!

   11 was quite a popular number. Next year it'll be all about 12

   my kids enjoy the free cardboard box and balloons the most