moon Funny Status Messages

   If you are ever wondering who your real friends are, delete your Facebook account and see who calls.

   Why should I trust the toothpaste recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists when they're the ones who make money fixing people's teeth?

   Happy 2021 New Year to all of you who will be staying home in your pajamas eating snacks on New Year's Eve, just like any other year.

   2022 is going to be my year, I can just feel it!

   Don't forget to wave smile and wish your neighbors a Merry Christmas who are kind like Facebook friends you might not really know either, but live closer.

   Did you know that the sentence "Are you as bored as I am" can be read backwards and still makes sense?

   When you drive an old air-cooled Volkswagen a essential oil is dw40.

   "Walking In a Wonderland" is a great Christmas song for Southerners to keep in mind since they don't know how to drive in it.

   You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one......but think the odds of winning the HGTV Dream Home are pretty good.

   Think I've been staying home isolating for too long as I just watched a Hallmark holiday Christmas movie in its entirety and I actually thought it wasn't corny.

   Good newsh, I'm shurvivfing the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss!

   My wife asked me to put up a canopy with bright lights. I told her now is the winter of our disco tent.

   I can predict the future, for example, sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ oʇ sʎɐʍǝpıs pɐǝɥ ɹnoʎ uɹnʇ pןnoʍ noʎ ʍǝuʞ I

   I put the thingamajig in the whatchamacallit and turned doohickey and wuteveritis still doesn't work. Any ideas?

   Who am I sad passed away? Anwer: Alex Trebek.

   I'm so glad the elections are over and we can put all that stress behind us and move on to being stessed about the holidays.

   If you drop a cookie on the floor and bend down to pick it up does that count as a squat?

   I can always tell when a friend spent a lot on their kitchen remodel when I can't find their garbage can.

   I'm beginning to believe whoever said "Hindsight is 2020" was sending a message to the future we all misunderstood.

   I'd really like to get personalized license plates for my car but they're so expensive I decided to change my name to XJS-3582