abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages

   I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common?

   The Only good thing that can come from a kim kardashian song, is a kim kardashian music video!

   it bad when I'm talking to myself and I'm not even listening?

   Life's too short to wake up in a bad mood- I save mine until I get to work.

   Note to self: Never make a sarcastic remark to someone who is really angry, unless you're prepared to run like hell.

   Whenever I don't hear from someone in a while I think, "Oh, sh$t They found out."

   Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as "that weird thing I did for a while."

   You can't have a relationship without any fights, but you can make your relationship worth the fight.

   U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one Fish cant Drown.

   I've decided to get rid of my bad habits...just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.

   I'm thinking about going out tonight, because the Beastie Boys fought and nearly died for my right to party...

   Blackberries are like girls, they only work when you rub one little button. iPhones are like men. One touch, anywhere and they respond.

   The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don't check their phone for 3 hours.

   I'd really like to find the person that named the sensitive part of your elbow the "Funny Bone" and punch them in the face. See how funny they think that is.

   Life's best lessons are learned at the worst times.

   The way some people find fault, you'd think there was some kind of reward.

   If I were you, I'd get a red nose and some big shoes and call it a day.

   Got pulled over after making a wrong turn at a donut shop... The cop walked up to the window and said, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Without hesitation I responded; "(pointing to the box) Cause you can smell it"

   While most people are becoming older and wiser, I'm becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.

   Drinking doesn't make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them...