Yaj Funny Status Messages

   In Mother Russia, we don't shoot for the stars, the stars shoot for us

   Peeing after holding it in for over an hour is one of the best feelings that isn't taxed or illegal..

   Wayne Brady honoring black history month is like Nickelback inducting Zeppelin into the Rock n Roll hall of fame

   Someone wrote "REtARd" on my window this morning. . . took me 3 effin hours to lick it clean :-/

   Does anybody know today's date?

   Anyone else notice that "The Los Angeles Angels" directly translates to "The The Angels Angels"?

   My first thoughts after hearing that Richard Dawson died were ... again?

   Wanna feel old? This years high school graduating class was born in 1995.

   When looking up Gary Oldman on Google make sure you don't leave out the 'R'..

   Heros don't wear capes, they wear dog tags.

   "The term CRACKER offendes me" - nobody.

   People are judging you right now. you dont need everyone 2 like u. Its your people that matter. Those who dont give an F change the world. The rest do not. Do things that you consider embarrassing. Accept awkwardness. Refuse boundaries. Live.

   I'm not hungover, I'm just tired from a long night of drinking

   you know you're getting old when the morning after pill is a percocet

   Apparently punching an alien looking thing in the face and saying "Welcome to Earth" isn't acceptable on a newborn baby

   I see all these women outside in short skirts. If they don't catch frostbite, they'll definitely catch an STD

   you should Y0u.Tube "warriors of goja", sit back, and enjoy.

   While looking at porn, "Low Battery" appears . . .Challenge Accepted

   If Satan punishes the evildoers, wouldn't that make him a good guy?

   Combined "no problem" and "your welcome" to an upset customer ... its not good saying "your problem" at the end of a phone call .. whoops