MWC Funny Status Messages
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Remember, everyday is a gift from God. Except Mondays, the Devil sneaks that one in
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06-15-2015 07:23 by MWC
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A woman can only run as fast as her boobs let her!
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06-01-2015 15:59 by MWC
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I'm ready to go mushroom hunting, because I have no morels
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03-29-2015 10:34 by MWC
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I bought an at home do it yourself a$$hole bleeching kit today...it said it contained enough solution to completely bleech one a$$hole...i thought I did it wrong,i was a little upset but i'm all white now
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03-23-2015 09:37 by MWC
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My wife told me I had a great face for radio. That wasn't nice. At least my ex's said nice things about me, they said I was better in bed then most my friends
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03-15-2015 19:00 by MWC
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They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye
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02-13-2015 13:06 by MWC
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OK which team has the most dreadlocks?
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02-01-2015 20:01 by MWC
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If corn oil is made from corn, and olive oil is made from olives, what is baby oil made of?
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01-31-2015 08:17 by MWC
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Ladies, when it comes to doggy style.....I'm behind you 100%
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01-26-2015 15:18 by MWC
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Colts..."Who's got big ball's, We got big ball's, we got the biggest balls of them all!!!!
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01-21-2015 10:17 by MWC
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If you don't believe in oral sex....then keep your mouth shut!
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01-13-2015 07:55 by MWC
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You know I got to thinkin about it and I have gotten outta bed 365 days a year for 26 years...... that is 9,490 sit-ups and not ONE ab to show for it....
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01-05-2015 19:02 by MWC
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I still remember 2014 like it was yesterday!
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01-01-2015 20:59 by MWC
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Fergison Mo. BLACK FRIDAY GHETTO STYLE!!!!
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11-25-2014 08:11 by MWC
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I'm rarely wrong, I mean mistaken.
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11-19-2014 22:46 by MWC
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I was washing my gum and my wife almost put cloths in with my gum !!!!!!! she almost ruined a whole pack !!!!! .........Gonna let it slide cause I love her
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11-19-2014 08:05 by MWC
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Oh and for all those polar bears are losing their homes because the earth is heating up people ..Tell the polar bears to bring their furry asses to Indiana they will feel right at home
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11-19-2014 08:02 by MWC
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I may have Alzheimer’s, but at least I don’t have Alzheimer’s
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11-16-2014 17:12 by MWC
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I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.
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11-14-2014 11:48 by MWC
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Woke up naked and looking so sexy my shower got turned on.
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11-13-2014 08:46 by MWC
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