Jackoo Funny Status Messages

   I'm allergic to some alcohol. I break out in Sexyness and and in extreme cases nudity...

   I swear some girls with big asses think they can get away with murder. You have a huge bass because your face is a car wreck, please behave yourself

   I wish a girl with fake eyebrows would argue with me, I would lick my Thumb so Fast!

   Not sure if my bed is calling me or if its the girl I left handcuffed all day

   Behind everyone's favorite song, there is an untold story

   Your about as relevant as a Facebook poke

   all I really want is someone to love me as much as kanye west loves himself

   You're 15 years old. You smoke. You're not a virgin and you wear more make-up than you do clothes. You have a bright future ahead of you.

   Partying on my level requires years of traning

   Facebook should have an automatic detection service that as soon as someone posts something regarding the gym or healthy eating, then they immediately get rewarded with a medal that they are obviously after.

   trying to have sex when you're wasted is like trying to play pool with a piece of string

   I tried to say no to the vodka but it was 40% stronger than me

   Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.

   Don't die a virgin. Seriously, there are terrorists up there waiting for you.

   My ex called me today. I answered by screaming "HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!?!" and hung up. That should make her wonder a little bit...

   Why raise your middle finger to a hater when you can break their jaw?!

   Who's the biggest prostitute in history...Ms. Pacman...for 10 cents that slut swallowed balls till she died....

   Getting married at 18 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm.

   What happens on holiday,stays on holiday. Except for STDs, they will always come back with you

   Masturbation is great. It wakes you up, puts you to sleep, relieves stress, and the only person who judges if you're good at it is yourself