Haha Funny Status Messages

   My sandal invention for people with one leg turn out to be a flop.

   There are 3 unwritten rules fop a good life. #1.........................#2........................ #3.........................

   After Monday and Tuesday, even the caledar says WTF.

   My bucket list..... 1. Bucket 2. Ice 3. 6pk beer.

   It's funny, when my wife gives me the silent treatment. She actually thinks it's a punishment.

   What are children born in a brothel called? Brothel sprouts.

   If you fart and it doesn't stink, should you be concern?

   The police department should replace their sirens with the national athem.

   Did you know that 6 out of the 7 dwarves were not happy?

   " I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb."

   It takes raw talent to make sushi.

   The diference between inlaws and outlaws...... Outlaws are wanted.

   If you ordered the worlds largest box from Amazon what would they ship it in?

   If someone works with a bunch of a$$holes all day. Can they add proctologist to their resume?

   If meterorologist are people who studies the weather. Are people who study meteors weatherologist?

   I'm not immauture....... I just know how to have fun.

   Take the hint people...... Earbuds are a do not disturb sign.

   A weasel walks in a bar. Bartender says what ya have? Pop goes the weasel.

   Why is it that Tampax advertisements always shows women ice skating, dancing or playing tennis. The only activity my wife partakes in at that time of the month is biting my head off.

   To make perfect chilli only use 239 beans. If you add one more it willbe too farty.